Revised paragraph: A good friend is someone who is empathetic, listens, and keeps others’ best interest in mind. My definition of a good friend has to do with morals and values that we as people hold (kindness, respect, and considerate). One idea that is similar between Konnikova and myself is that vital connections are made through face to face interactions. Face to face interactions shape our development as children. If kids grow up solely with virtual interactions, their conversation skills, language usage, and ability to perceive emotion in social situations will be developmentally inappropriate.

The specific improvements I made to my paragraph have to do with clarity and word choice. I took “wordy” sentences and reworked them so they would have the same meaning, but had a more efficient approach. My paragraph was around the same length, with some phrases even shortening certain sentences. I took words that are considered vague (i.e, social skills, good friend, values) and made them clearer (explained social skills, listed qualities of a good friend, listed specific values). Overall, my editing of this paragraph made me realize clearer word choice helps get the point across faster.